Writing Treasuring Notes to Your Wife When She has a Mastectomy

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I am a 3 time survivor spanning 26 years. This will be my 9th time running the half marathon and love this event. My husband Mike who was my amazing caregiver over the years passed away last July. He always supported me in this race following me in the race, taking pictures, you name it and always at the finish line.

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Three weeks after he died, my 28 year old daughter was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer. She was very close to her dad and misses him terribly. As she and I face her cancer together we will support one another. I did it in Honor of my friend Karen who has gone through Breast Cancer, had the surgery and is back to running with the members of our running club. This will be my 99th marathon, and I am doing it in her Honor. Boston Marathon will be my th marathon six weeks after the Donna. To achieve this vision, it will take support from everyone.

Runners, volunteers, donors and sponsors. Individuals and companies — large and small. We will Finish Breast Cancer. While Patrick is not a runner, he has taken part in the race to finish breast cancer for nearly a decade. He notes that funds raised by the many supporters and sponsors of the marathon have led to a possible vaccine for T3 breast cancer, which marathon and organization founder Donna Deegan had, and more trials are under way for the vaccine.

This is why the race has been a passion of mine for the last nine years. We hope to see you there! I will be running the half, in honor of my Loving Mom, Sister and Cousin who have lost their battle to breast cancer…but never forgotten. June 1st, I was the day I found out I had breast cancer. My twin sister and best friend Jeanie Leapley, long time resident of Ponte Vedra knew about it though and she ran in honor of me in February of We decided to make it a tradition that year so in , I ran the half while she grinded out the whole I had cervical cancer at the age of 23 and breast cancer at Prayer and living my life like I always have made me to be able to get threw my hard times.

Through injuries and setbacks, sheer perseverance and strength, runner and breast cancer survivor Kirsten Teany realized her dream to qualify for the Boston Marathon by finishing the 7 th Annual At age 40, Kirsten began training with her neighbors for the Disney marathon. The group planned to train by walking together; however, Kirsten found that she did not have enough time to walk long distances and care for her young children.

Little did she know then that running would soon bring new meaning to her life. In , Kirsten finished the Disney marathon using a combination of running and walking. Kirsten will never forget that race — not only did she complete almost 40 miles in two days, but she was to receive serious news from her doctor that same day. It was in the very early stages. In , Kirsten learned of It made sense for her to run in the only marathon dedicated to breast cancer research and care given her recent victory over the disease.

To achieve this, she needed to improve her time by 31 minutes! The women portrayed are too accepting and passive about their fate. Apparently only one women has used mastectomy to prevent getting breast cancer. The others seem to be crossing their fingers it won't be them who is next diagnosed. No one seems angry enough to question the choices made by the older women or to even get visibly angry at all. Many relevant questions go unasked and unanswered. In how many affected Canadian women is breast cancer an issue of genetic susceptibility vs. How do ovarian cancer rates compare to breast cancer rates in the general population?

To what extent has the environment been implicated? In what ways might the environment figure into the equation? How could this be turned around? What are the known causes of breast cancer? What are the suspected causes of breast cancer? How many men get breast cancer? To what extent do factors such as smoking, diet and sedentary life-styles affect the rates of breast cancer? Where does gene therapy fit into the bigger picture? Where is the best research in the country being conducted?

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Will radical mastectomy be enough to prevent the disease? Why don't the women in this family ever get really angry? Where are the kayaks and the dragon boats? Teachers of senior level high-school and college students would be rewarded by using this film as a springboard to research projects that focus on the above issues. Social workers and psychologists should note that breast-cancer survivor support groups could derive much of value from viewing and discussing the movie and different individuals' reactions to it.

I was so happy to be have been given this miracle of him coming back to me. But the issues were so huge to overcome but I had faith and hope. No trust but I had faith and hoped trust could be rebuilt. But he was exactly the same with all the same issues and excuses and poor treatment. Us getting a place of our own, us having a vow renewal in front of family and friends, us having a life to make our marriage work- me getting healthier, none of it- mattered.

I fought tooth and nail for the both of us for our marriage and I began to feel more and more exhausted and disillusioned.

I had finally made that decision- and he was diagnosed with cancer. We are in the midst of it now. We have fought a lot. He has been demeaning and manipulative even during his hospital stay and now has one more tool at his disposal to shame and degrade me. His illness. I now feel trapped. But we have been told repeatedly that IF you have to get cancer, this is the kind to get!! The problem is that it was found on his spinal cord and it caused some neuro damage and as a result he lost his ability to walk, and his bodily functions.

His legs are slowly coming back but for now he is in a wheel chair and there is no way of knowing if they will come back full force.

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I feel absolutely trapped. He felt he was being generous with his 30 percent and said that was all he would give me and said he stood by that. I feel so trapped and know that if I were to leave now I would be looked at as a monster because he has cancer.


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Reading your comment moved me tremendously, and you have been through so much. Your relationship sounds very complicated, and I can truly understand how you have wanted your relationship to work. I can only speak from my authentic experience. Your situation might be different.

"I felt that I had lost not only my darling girl but also the woman I used to be"

Couples counseling might be a good thing. Thank you for reaching out to me.

I wish you the very best — whichever direction life takes you. Today everything it all came to a head. We are divorcing. This happened on our way to treatment. He through every hateful thing, nothing was off limits or sacred, anything I had entrusted him with he went after me…. I just sat frozen staring at him. I realize now he had been just waiting for this moment to be use his current situation to gain even more sympathy.

Thanks a LOT! He did this every single day of his 3 week stay. He is a Narcissist. I will be made out to be a monster with his illness. But like you I stayed in this relationship too long and those that are in my life have wanted me to get out for a long time seeing the toll it was taking on me. At one point it nearly killed me and like you- if I were to stay I was heading there again. And again like you- I truly, truly wanted me marriage to work and have a chance and it took me a lot to take a chance on marriage again after having my first one fail and be so devastating. And like you- I still loved him, to my detriment.

I believed everything he said about me. And today he did the same saying the same things and more and for a moment I let it sink in and believed him.


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